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What Happens When We Have to Say Goodbye?


Philadelphia Eagles All-Pro center Jason Kelce breaks down in tears while delivering his retirement speech. Retirement from a sport that you love is a difficult, often emotional, goodbye to fans, and the fans emotionally grieve with the athletes too. PHOTO//INSTAGRAM @johnclarknbc.

 

They say, “all good things must come to end.” Sports fans know this idea better than most. Often as sports fans, there are times when we must say goodbye to players and coaches. Reasons may vary from retirement, to firings, to unforeseen circumstances. Even if fans come to terms with the change, the grieving process does not necessarily get easier.

Chloe Spradlin is an Atlanta native on Piedmont’s women’s soccer team. She is a die-hard Atlanta Falcons fan, and her favorite player growing up is somebody she has a complicated relationship with: former wide receiver Julio Jones.

“That really hurt. I wanted [Julio Jones] to win a Super Bowl with us,” says Spradlin. “I think the people that are connected with athletes, we connect with them for a reason, whether they’re a part of our team, we appreciate their values, we appreciate what they’ve done for a certain organization or charity. It makes complete sense why we align ourselves with these people. They’re greater than celebrities, I think…if you really think about sports and the power that sports has, it has so much more [power] than just pop culture.”

Several factors can determine what makes a player or coach’s departure more painful. It can be more painful if the subject has been with the team for an extensive period of time. It can be more painful if the subject left against their own wishes, whether via a trade or release. As for retirement, whether a person retires due to health concerns, family concerns or simply because “they feel it’s time,” this can affect how painful the departure is for the subject, as well as the fans. It is also painful when fans have to say goodbye because of the poor actions a player or coach engages in.

“I think when these players are your favorite players, it’s almost like a betrayal,” says Spradlin. “When you sign that contract and you step on that field…whatever you're doing, you have made a promise to the fans of, not only your team, but to your personal fans. You say, ‘I will perform to the best of my ability. I will do the very best I can.’ That's just a social contract you signed as well as the one you sign on paper.”

There are very real situations athletes find themselves in due to their actions. These mistakes have ended careers, and, in some unfortunate cases, lives. Michael Vick was arrested for dog fighting while he was with the Atlanta Falcons. Wander Franco was arrested and taken back to his home country, the Dominican Republic, after it was revealed that he had an affair with a 15-year-old girl. Henry Ruggs III illegally drove while intoxicated and killed a family by crashing into their vehicle. Deshaun Watson missed a whole season while settling sexual assault lawsuits from 24 masseuses. These are a couple of examples, but it shows how the mistakes players make hurt their image, as well as how fans align to them.

On a much grander scale, when controversies occur on the global stage, coping with these mistakes is more complicated. For example, when US gymnastics was under heat for the sexual misconduct of Larry Nassar, it becomes difficult for Americans to understand how to cope with a situation like this. At the global stage, especially teams that represent nations, they represent the citizens of those nations. US gymnastics, at the Olympics, represents who we are as Americans, our resilience and our standards. When that standard of common decency is not met by a representative of our country at, we cannot accept the actions, but we also cannot revoke our alignment to American athletes. We feel the pain that comes with the scenario.

“I think you can always root for the athletes [in these situations],” says Spradlin. “It’s very frustrating when it's evident that teams will have to step in because of their image, and not because of their values…It's disgusting, and I will always support the players over the management. The players are the ones going out on the field, on the court, on the pitch and doing the work. They're having to do that for these organizations that are, at their core, not moral.”

It is not often, but on the slim chance these people and teams make comebacks, it can be hard for a fan to re-establish their loyalty. Take Michael Vick and Deshaun Watson for example, who have attempted comebacks in their NFL careers after being involved in controversy.

“When you are fans of these players, I understand how it can be kind of like a tug of war, because something in you will always want to cheer for that guy, for that player, for that girl,” says Spradlin. “But I think there's times where you have to take a step back and say, hey, this is the reality of the situation…I think it says a lot about the values of your organization, and I would not be proud to be a fan.”

The personal alignment fans have with athletes is often viewed as unhealthy, obsessive and in some cases, stalker-like. It is possible that such a bright spotlight on these athletes results in poor behavior. Perhaps these athletes always made poor decisions, and the spotlight merely magnifies the mistakes to blow them up to greater proportions. The relationship between athletes and fans can be perceived as a slippery slope that can easily leave either party hurt and heartbroken. Does this mean that there is an emotional risk to being a sports fan? It depends on the level of personal investment in a team or player. It is similar to the degree that people trust their everyday friends and family. Those people may make mistakes, in some cases very severe mistakes, that leave us hurt, but it is up to the individual whether they will choose to continually live in that hurt or not. This is another example that relates back to how alike sports fans are from everybody else.

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2 Comments


Guest
Apr 10

It is hard to see people saying goodbye to the sport. The guys you mentioned who made poor decisions to ruin their career sucks for them. Being my last year of baseball it sucks to think about never playing competitively again. Growing up loving the sport you play, it always hurts when it comes to an end.

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mckodrowski0
Apr 10
Replying to

Thank you for sharing! It is definitely a major change to stop actively living out a lifestyle that has often defined the past few years or decades of your life. It is never easy to say goodbye to the sports we love.

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